Until recently I used to worry about why people were no longer reading my blog posts. I know this from my blog stats delivered each month to my inbox. They tell me I have a regular audience of 3, which I can pretty much guarantee are my mum, my sister and my best friend. Like I said, until recently these stats would have caused me some agony over why, what to do, etc, etc.
2010 has become my year of reflection, not by my choosing, but nonetheless many insights have been gained and lessons learned. One of these insights has been that really I had lost sight of my reasons for blogging and in turn my blogging audience. When I started blogging several years ago it was to provide regular stories about my crafty dalliances and our lives in Melbourne. My audience was then 3, yes those same three who I no longer could share regular physical get togethers as they all reside in Adelaide. Over time I, somewhat surprisingly, gained other readers and an a new online community open upped to me. The excitement of finding like minded people encouraged me to blog more, to read more blogs, to join this community. However, at the same time I was battling post natal depression and as has now become apparent blogging became a way to hide from my daily struggles. Spending much of my time online became not quite an obsession but a habit.
As part of my recovery from PND I began to back away from my online world. My real world needed my attention, my involvement. It has taken a long time to regain a balance between my real and my online communities. It has taken a toll on some of my personal relationships. A toll that I now look on with sadness and bewilderment. Reflection has felt like I have had my blinkers and rose colored glasses removed. It felt brutal to start with but as sometimes can be the case, a good dose of reality has become strangely liberating. So now I feel I can blog with more freedom again, as I am aware that these posts are really for an audience of 3. But for those of you that also drop by from time to time, I heartily thank you for providing some bonus online hugs!
Until the next post, x Sam
Saturday, September 25
My audience of three
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7 comments:
Well I am glad that you may be blogging sometimes again. I am also glad that you are feeling more yourself again.
Maybe your audience is four because I read you, but I'm usually lazy and only do it in a reader!
Don't you think it is sad that we face the question of balance between IRL friends and blogging friends? Just like all friends sometimes we need some more than others - it's a cycle.
I'm sorry that you were suffering PND in silence en blog all that time.
Great to see you back in print.
I always read your posts but perhaps I dont always comment. Having suffered from PND myself I know what pain you are going through. It does take time and sometimes the internet is a place to hide but you do have to find your own way to deal with these things. I do hope you can find the right balance to suit you.
I always read too (but am not so good at commenting). Hugs to you and hope you have found the right balance.
Hi Sam, its been a long while since I dropped in..or blogged myself for that matter...but you are still in my sidebar and here I am!!! Hope you are well.
Little sister says... Even though I am supposedly one of the 'sainted three' this is the first time I have read this post, nearly two weeks later. So even the sainted let their halos slip! Or possibly I was never in the three... This could be the start of a new Agatha Christie, 'The Case of Three'. Title succinct but lacks imagination for Agatha. Really I should never comment on posts at this time of night. Nor should I agree to spend two hours locked in an amusement venue at Glenelg with my children but off I'll be going come morning. Sigh.
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